For some reason, I have been asked to talk about love and dating with hearing loss a lot. Every time it makes me giggle. Back in the day, I was the reigning champion of dysfunctional dating, so stumbling upon my wonderful boyfriend now feels like a stroke of sheer luck. If anyone out there believes they’ve cracked the code to dating or relationships, I’m all ears (sorta)!

Over time, discussing this topic with young adults has led us to a unanimous conclusion: dating and hearing loss share a common thread of vulnerability. Combining the two elevates that vulnerability to new heights. I’ve always been upfront about my hearing loss, which means divulging something deeply personal right off the bat—a stark contrast to the typical light and casual nature of early interactions.

During my dating days, it often felt like I had to give each new person a crash course in accessibility, which isn’t exactly the most romantic scenario. Picture me in a café, politely asking my date to move to a better-lit spot or speak more slowly and clearly—it’s not exactly the smoothest start to a romantic evening.

One benefit to this is that it weeds out the not-so-compatible; this could be a superpower. Being on a date with hearing loss will test the patience of everyone involved, especially if it’s in noisy environments. True colours will be revealed.

Thankfully, I lucked out with a partner who’s incredibly patient and happens to have a booming voice from being raised in a loud Italian household. He’s my perfect match, and navigating my hearing loss keeps things interesting for both of us. Will there be misunderstandings or misjudged tones? Absolutely. But it also forces us to constantly reassess our communication, a crucial aspect of any relationship.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, ‘the day of love’, pressure rises. Anyone who was obsessed with romcoms growing up like I was knows that Valentine’s Day with a significant other is a big deal. Well, you want it to be a big deal. In my case, you set unrealistic expectations about this day and want it to be lovely.

The typical Valentine’s Day according to my research (trashy romance novels), is filled with romance, fine dining, candle-lit dinners and dancing under the moonlight.

So let’s evaluate this, candlelight—NIGHTMARE— I can’t speech read. Restaurants = background noise. Dancing under the stars, well, that’s not a 2024 occurrence.

However, candy and love notes are accessible. Often we are quick to get discouraged by things we can’t do. However, there are many things we can do. I like to be creative when it comes to date night ideas and find things that make me forget about the barriers and just enjoy each other’s company.

Cooking together, painting in the park, exploring hearing loss-friendly restaurants, visiting museums, or having a beach picnic—these are the moments that truly matter; where barriers fade away and love shines through.